Separation brings many decisions that cannot be reduced to a single sentence about cooperating amicably. Who collects the child, how is information from school shared, what happens if someone is ill and when are holidays agreed? Family mediation provides an opportunity to work on these practical details where the participants can speak voluntarily and safely. The child’s best interests remain the reference point for the arrangements and their subsequent assessment by the court.
Key points before you start
- The plan should reflect the particular child’s needs and what the parents can realistically do.
- A court grants a divorce; mediation can help organise matters connected with separation.
- Arrangements concerning children are not freely exchangeable for financial or property concessions.
What can be discussed?
Article 445² of the Polish Code of Civil Procedure (KPC) provides for mediation in divorce or legal separation proceedings concerning, among other matters, the family’s needs, maintenance, the exercise of parental authority, contact with children and certain property issues. Practical matters can therefore be addressed even if the parties do not intend to resume living together. The purpose of the discussion should be clearly agreed, without assuming that reconciliation is required.
Mediation does not dissolve a marriage. The court decides on the divorce and its statutory consequences. Under Article 58 of the Polish Family and Guardianship Code (KRO), the court takes account of a written parental agreement on the exercise of parental authority and contact after divorce if it is consistent with the child’s best interests. Not every part of a plan automatically becomes an enforceable settlement; how the arrangements are formally used must fit the case.
A parenting plan should work on an ordinary Tuesday
A good draft covers an ordinary week, not just holidays. Specify times, the handover location, travel arrangements and how delays will be communicated. Consider the child’s activities and rest, the distance between homes and the parents’ actual work schedules. No single template suits every family. The plan should remain understandable when the parents are tired and do not want another negotiation.
It helps to agree in advance how exceptions will be discussed: how much notice to give of a trip, what to do if someone is ill and when to confirm holidays. Predictability does not require parents to lose all flexibility. A clear default arrangement can be combined with a process for agreeing exceptions. Do not make the child responsible for carrying messages, holding adults to account or choosing a solution to their dispute.
Sources for this section: [2]
A conversation about money needs information
Prepare a factual expense summary, separating regular costs from occasional ones. Identify which payments are already documented and which are only planned. The legal basis for the extent of maintenance obligations is the entitled person’s justified needs and the obligated person’s earning capacity and assets. Article 135 KRO also takes account of personal efforts to support and raise a child.
The arrangements should clearly state the amount, deadline and method of payment, together with a way to discuss additional expenses. Keep financial matters separate from contact with the child. Accepting one condition should not conceal a waiver of protection owed to the child. If the draft concerns the child’s rights, existing court decisions or a change to a maintenance obligation, its effects need to be checked before signing.
Freedom to decide and suitable conditions come first
Before a joint meeting, tell the mediator about fear of the other participant, threats, controlling behaviour or difficulty making decisions independently. Moving the discussion online does not itself remove pressure. If voluntary and safe participation cannot be ensured, mediation may be unsuitable. Other forms of assistance and judicial protection may be needed.
The mediator does not provide couples therapy as part of mediation itself or replace individual legal advice. A break, advice on the draft or a separate conversation can be planned. Involving a child requires a separate, careful assessment and appropriate skills; it should not be an improvised way to settle a dispute between parents. At first contact, it is enough to indicate practical needs without sending extensive records concerning the child.
What does research on divorce mediation show?
Lori Anne Shaw’s 2010 meta-analysis, covering five studies that met the author’s criteria, indicated that mediation produced more favourable average outcomes in some of the areas assessed than approaches based on litigation. The studies examined matters including satisfaction and relationships. The limited number of studies and their context call for caution: the publication does not justify promising a particular outcome to an individual family.
In their 2005 publication, Emery, Sbarra and Grover discuss research on divorce mediation and the significance of subsequent relationships between parents and children. For practical preparation, this encourages looking beyond the day the document is signed: will the arrangements support cooperation after a month and after a year? These findings from abroad are not the Foundation’s statistics or a guarantee that an agreement will endure.
Educational scenario — a fictional example, not a case handled by the Foundation.
Parents living on opposite sides of Kraków
In this fictional scenario, the parents of a school-age child live in different parts of Kraków. The dispute returns at every collection and change of activities. In mediation, they could first examine the actual weekly timetable, travel time and how information is exchanged, then prepare arrangements for ordinary days, public holidays and school holidays.
The example draft provides for a single communication channel and a deadline for notifying changes. Costs are discussed separately, based on the child’s needs and the parents’ means. Before signing, the parties check the draft with their legal representatives and establish how to present it to the court. We do not assume that every family should adopt such a plan; the example identifies questions that require individual answers.
Questions about this topic
Can a mediator grant a divorce?
Do we have to agree on every issue?
No. It is possible to reach agreement on some matters and leave others for further discussions or a decision. What has been agreed must be clearly identified, and how to use the partial outcome in the case needs to be assessed.
Sources for this section: [1]
Sources and further reading
- Ustawa z dnia 17 listopada 1964 r. – Kodeks postępowania cywilnego, tekst jednolity Dz.U. z 2026 r. poz. 468, ze zmianami; w szczególności art. 183¹–183¹⁵, art. 259¹, art. 436 i art. 445².
- Ustawa z dnia 25 lutego 1964 r. – Kodeks rodzinny i opiekuńczy, tekst jednolity Dz.U. z 2026 r. poz. 236; w szczególności art. 56, art. 58, art. 113 i art. 135.
- Shaw, L. A. (2010). Divorce mediation outcome research: A meta-analysis. Conflict Resolution Quarterly, 27(4), 447–467.
- Emery, R. E., Sbarra, D., Grover, T. (2005). Divorce Mediation: Research and Reflections. Family Court Review, 43(1), 22–37.
Educational material based on sources checked on 23 October 2026. It does not replace an individual legal assessment of a particular case. The scenarios are fictional and do not describe clients’ experiences or outcomes achieved by the Foundation. Legislation, judgments and research publications are cited alongside the relevant topics; DOIs are provided only for publications that have such an identifier.